Alright kiddos--Here's a post on some of the things I witness on Facebook that I find utterly obnoxious (and occasionally sad). I'm sure I was guilty of some of these here and there in the early days of college, but come on! You should all be Facebook pros! So get a diary, tell your significant other you LOVE them to their face, volunteer for a politician's campaign, and confront your "Frenemy" in person. I'll share some examples (being satirical here):
How do you like my make-up guys?
The infamous selfie pic. It was taken on instagram which means you're not only a model, but also a creative photographer. (This photo is not on Facebook. I took it to make a point on this post. Besides I look like a fool. LOL)
I have the best boyfriend EVER! I love you honey boo boo boo. You are so special and put up with my moodiness even when I'm PMS-ing.
The Public Couple. Gag gag. Unfortunately, this is very common on Facebook. Who doesn't want everyone in on the details of their relationship? I mean, I think you're SUPER cute and everything, but you make me want to vomit.
The alternative is when these same couple have fights on FB. That's just embarrassing. Get a diary / therapist / friend (Facebook ones don't count). I don't know maybe you've exhausted all of them including your Mom. The therapists can't help you so you think: Wait, people will see this on Facebook and ask me what's wrong! BINGO!
I'm pregnant!
The Ultrasound. Just because it says it is the "profile" of your fetus doesn't mean you need to make it your "profile pic" on Facebook. I'm okay with not seeing the inside of your Uterus on my Newsfeed. Whatever happened to only showing it to close family and friends as proof that you're pregnant? You can just post that you're pregnant on Facebook. I'll believe you.
There is a web application that will turn pictures of babies into pictures of things you choose. Examples: Puppies, Pizza, Sunsets, etc. I installed it but later felt like a jerk so I uninstalled it. It does work though...if you're interested.
When I say "date more than one person at a time" I mean: Non-exclusively hanging out or going on dates with more than one person during the same time period (NOT having more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at the same time). I tend to be a bit torn on this subject, primarily because I'm so darn picky that finding more than one guy I like at the same time is pretty rare. I won't say I haven't dated more than one person at a time, but it's certainly not a hobby of mine.
What are your thoughts on the subject? I thought I'd post about it and see what others think rather than give much of my opinion. Maybe if there's a good comment I'll respond with my opinion. ;)
No joke...I happened to stumble upon my high school blog--which only a select number of people even knew it existed (and I plan to keep it that way). The 17 year old me inspired 25 year old me. A quote from my HS blog post: Obviously this is not realistic. Its just funny because a lot of them actually apply to some people. (It must be something of my mom's but I thought it was funny)
10 Rules for Avoiding Intimacy
1. Don't Talk--Basic rule for avoiding intimacy. If you have to talk, don't talk about anything meaningful. Talk about things like the stock market, the weather, school--anything but feelings.
2. Never Show Your Feelings--Showing your feelings is almost as bad as talking because feelings are ways of communicating. The best thing to do is to remain expressionless. 3. Always Be Pleasant--Always smile and be friendly even when something is bothering you. You'll be surprised at how this will prevent you from being intimate.
4. Always Win--Never compromise even if their point of view may be as good as yours. If you start compromising it may be a sign that you care about their feelings. 5. Always Keep Busy--If you keep busy at school or work you won't have to be around them. This method is especially effective because you can make them feel unimportant in your life without even talking! 6. Always Be Right--There is nothing worse than being wrong because it is an indication that you are human. If you admit you are wrong you may have to admit they are right and that will make them as good as you. If they are as good as you then you might have to start taking them into consideration.
7. Never Argue--If you argue, you may begin to realize you two are different. If you are different you may have to talk about the differences to make adjustments, and if u make adjustments you may have to tell them who you really are and what you really feel. 8. Make Them Guess What You Want--Never tell them what you want. This way if they guess and they are wrong, then they really don't understand or love you. If they did love you, they would already know what you want without asking. 9. Always Look Out for Number One--Remember, you are number one. All relationships exist in order to fulfill your needs and no one else's. If they cannot satisfy your needs they are narcissistic, after all, YOU are the one making the sacrifices in the relationship.
10. Keep the Television On--Keep the television on at all times. It keeps you from having to communicate. And you are trying to avoid all communication so this works well. --These cracked me up. Thanks mom for sending me this in a chain email when I was 17 years old.
There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Gandhi
This is the first time since Senior Year of college when I have felt so overwhelmed with everything I have to do that I never feel like I'm caught up. There have been points since then when I have been incredibly bored because I didn't feel like I was doing enough outside of work. Here I am now...back to how I felt in college.
I have a tendency to say yes far too often and feel guilty in the times I do say no. That leaves me a giant ball of stress. I'm sure many of you out there can relate. I actually created this post originally two weeks ago, but haven't had a clear enough mind to write. I've done some research and even practiced most of these techniques over the past couple weeks.
Why We Get Overwhelmed
I think the tendency for most of us is to say “yes” to most of the things coming into our lives. Maybe it’s that we’re too nice to say no. Maybe it’s that we are overly optimistic about how much we can get done. Maybe we don’t want to look bad by saying we can’t do something. Or maybe we’re afraid to miss out on opportunities by saying no.
Saying “no” to any commitments we can’t handle would be ideal, of course, but like I said, we usually have a tendency to say “yes” to more than we can actually handle. And we become overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted.
As you know, simplicity is the key to my philosophy. If things get complicated, I say you should simplify. Don’t try to do more. Reduce.
The Effects of Stress and Overload We all know that too much stress is bad for us. Sure, you can’t avoid stress completely, and without some stress we would never grow. But too much stress? It leads to problems.
Stress leads to many health problems, for example: headaches, muscle aches in your shoulders, neck, back … it ages you prematurely, leads to ulcers, heartburn, high blood pressure, heart disease, overeating and more. Not a pretty picture.
But there’s more. Overloading yourself also leads to decreased effectiveness. Taking on too much means we don’t do as good a job with the work we attempt. We often switch between tasks, jumping from one to another, so that we actually take longer to do things and often don’t complete tasks. Or we’re so rushed with the tasks we do complete that quality suffers.
In General:
1. Step Out. You can’t get away from feeling overwhelmed from a place of overwhelming confusion. You have to step away to be able to view your circumstances from a fresh perspective. Move to a different room, get up from your desk, sit in a different chair, go out for a walk or go sit in a café. Stepping out from the current situation and changing your physicality will help you gain clarity, and shift you away from the overwhelmed state of mind.
2. “What is Most Important?” When we are feeling overwhelmed, our mind becomes clouded by the task at hand, and by the thoughts that cause us to feel stressed in the first place. When you step out, ask yourself, what is the most important thing for me? How do I want to feel?
Many times, we get so caught up in the doing, that we forget why we are doing it. Instead of being busy doing and then hoping that it will lead us to what we want, start with asking, “How do I want to feel?” And then focus on feeling that way. Then ask, “What is important to me?” And then focus on doing things that are important to you, instead of lots of unimportant tasks that overwhelm you.
3. Journaling. Whenever we are feeling overwhelmed, there is likely a lot going on inside our head. The best thing to do is to dump these thoughts out through writing what’s on your mind. Grab a pen and a piece of paper, or a notebook, and start jotting down everything that is in your mind. Write without editing, and write out every thought. Remember to not worry about keeping things looking neat and perfect. This will limit our freedom to dump whatever we want onto paper, both junk that’s keeping us feeling overwhelmed and helpful creative ideas.
4. Asking for Help and Allow Help.You’d be amazed at how many people are willing to help. Often, we are the problem that is disallowing help from happening through our limited thinking. We think they will say no, and so we don’t ask.
Just ask, and be open to receiving what others are willing to provide. You never know what will happen. Just think,what’s the worst thing that can happen? They say no. Not a big deal.
5. Creating Boundaries. Time is our most precious commodity. It is the only resource that is un-renewable. So spend it wisely and consciously. How much alone time do you need to re-charge? How much do you want to engage in creative pursuits?
Once you’ve decided what’s important and how long you want to spend, create boundaries around important activities and do not budge with any incoming distractions. Do not allow unimportant noise and activities to creep in.
It’s true that I cannot answer every email that comes in, or get to every chore on my list. But it is ok. I realized that I am not obligated todo anything, and that I am in control. I designed my life and have the freedom to create the rules.
6. Shut Out Noise. When we feel overwhelmed, it feels comforting to do something mindless to unwind and relax, like watching TV, reading the news or browsing the Internet. What we forget during this time is that the extra information that comes in becomes noise that further clusters our already overwhelmed state of mind.
The best thing we can do for ourselves when we come home feeling overwhelmed is to leave the TV and computer off. Do something that slows our mind down. Consider reading something that expands our consciousness, or close our eyes for 30 minutes in silent meditation. Sit back and listen to some smoothing music, or engage in a creative project that is meaningful to you.
7. Bedtime Ritual. The state in which we go to sleep is the state in which we wake up. Doing things that quiet your mind instead of cluttering it will help you sleep more settled and wake up feeling more refreshed.
One thing I do before bed that’s been incredibly beneficial to me is the ritual of gratitude. I start by asking myself, “What are my favorite parts of the day? What did I enjoy about today?” Then I give appreciation for the things, people and circumstances in my life that make me happy.Think Simple Now
At Work:
1. Step back. In order to make the decisions necessary for cutting back, you need to take a few minutes to clear your head and think. Stop whatever you’re doing (or if you can’t, then schedule 30 minutes for sometime today), and take some time to consider everything you have going on. Take a walk to clear your head if necessary. Get some fresh air.
2. List everything. Make a list of all your tasks and projects (or one list for each if you like). Put everything on there, including personal stuff, civic commitments, everything. In order to make good decisions, you’ll have to see everything at once.
3. Set limits. It may seem impossible, but if you set limits for yourself, you will be forced to choose only the essential. The actual limits aren’t as important as the act of setting them at this point — you can adjust the limits later depending on what works for you. I recommend you choose just 3 important tasks to accomplish today, and limit yourself to only 3 projects.
4. Prioritize. Once you’ve set the limits, you can take a look at your long list of tasks and projects, and choose which ones you’re going to focus on. Which tasks and projects are the most essential? NOT the most urgent, but the ones that will get you the most long-term benefit. Which ones will have the most impact? Often some tasks and projects will seem urgent, but it’s only in our head.
5. Eliminate. Of the tasks and projects you didn’t choose as your top priorities … are there any that can be just eliminated? Any that you can put on a someday list? Any that can be delegated or automated? You don’t need to do everything on your list — slash it mercilessly.
6. Renegotiate commitments. Of the stuff you decide not to do now, but can’t just eliminate or delegate … you’ll need to renegotiate them. Go to the person or people you’ve committed yourself to, whether that be a boss or a client or a team or a spouse or friend, and tell them honestly that you just cannot do everything on your plate right now, and ask for a different deadline or timeline. Can they wait a week? A month? Set a new date, and try to stick to it.
7. Take time off. This step is optional, of course, but if you can possibly take a day or half a day or even several days to relax and recuperate, that’s the best possible scenario. That will mean renegotiating everything on your list, probably, so that you don’t feel stressed while taking time out or overwhelmed when you get back. Push everything back a week, two weeks, or a month, depending on the commitment, so that you don’t have anything urgent when you get back. Then take time off, and don’t do any work. Don’t even think about work. Do that when you get back — upon returning to work, take at least 30-60 minutes to prioritize and plan so that you can focus on your most important projects and not be overwhelmed. Zen Habits
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