Witty Wednesday: Some Funnies to get You Over the Hump

Don't you love that? 

Oh Dwight.

It wouldn't have been the worst idea guys have had.  Girls love Pinterest.

 Nobody crosses Chuck Norris. 

A cell phone should've been added to this picture.

At least he has a sense of humor about it...

10 Signs You Need a Vacation...Like Me!

I need a vacation...You know how I know?  Read on.

1. You leave the house in a frenzy and realize less than a mile down the road that you don't have your contacts in or your glasses on.  You have no time to stop back so you won't be able to see very well the entire day.

2. You leave the house in a hurry to get to work.  You panic when you realize you left your glasses at home.  You feel really stupid after running back in, looking on nightstand and realizing your glasses have been on your face the entire time.

3. You start to look at every part of your life as a PDSA
(Plan, Do, Study, Act--Quality Improvement Cycle).  

4. You start having nightmares about a project at work...on the weekend.

                         

5. The Travel Channel makes you cry more than the Sarah McLachlan
"Arms of an Angel" commercial.

6. You try to open your car door by waving your work badge at it.
(I just thought this was a cute picture--see penguin lover.)

7. You wake up thinking it's Friday...and then realize it's Tuesday and are in a grumpy mood the rest of the day.

8. Your favorite part of the work day is 15 minutes reading the news online while eating lunch at your desk.

9. People start asking if you're sick.  You just haven't seen the sun in a long time.

10. You created a playlist consisting only country music...clearly you're a little delusional.

Valentine's Day: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Here's a little History Lesson for you:

Valentine's Day, or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is observed on February 14th each year. It is celebrated in many countries around the world.  St. Valentine's Day began as a liturgical celebration of one or more early Christian saints named Valentinus. 

The most popular martyrology associated with Saint Valentine was that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted under the Roman Empire.

Legend states that before his execution he wrote "from your Valentine" as a farewell to her.  ^{wikipedia/Valentine's_Day}

--How sweet is that story?  That makes me want to celebrate Valentine's Day for the right reasons.

Here's what Valentine's Day looks like in Modern day:

Scared yet?  This obnoxious package is supposed to show how much you care about someone.

This is a downplayed version of what I saw when I walked into the grocery store. 

God help those of you who are single. This is hard to avoid.  

I'm not single and it made me want to gag. 

I'm pretty sure my BF who was with me felt the same way 

(if not much worse Lol).  

Nothing says eternal love like items that will either be eaten and go straight to your butt or that will die (flowers) after a week.  

I won't lie though--I'm a sucker for candy and flowers.  I care more about the thought that goes into gifts though.  

I don't want someone to buy me something because they feel like they have to do it.

Here's some Funnies for you (Happily Single, Unhappily Single, Happily Taken, Unhappily Taken):

Happy Single Awareness Day to Some of you...

This will be me on V-Day!  Haha.

If my boyfriend did this I'd retaliate times 5 [if you're reading this, here's your fair warning ;) ]. 

This advertisement is just ridiculous.

How Romantic? 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all of my readers!

Top Annoying Facebook Posts Part 2

       I can think of at least one person for each of these:

I'll be writing more about some of the above facebooker types in future posts
(and a couple below in this post).

So true...haha.  Thank god there's an option to block people from your newsfeed now.

Alright, I won't lie.  I posted the picture above on my Facebook wall on March 20, 2011.  It was my first time making pan-seared scallops correctly and I was proud.  I swear it's the only time I've done it.  LOL.  

The thing that bugs me the most about people posting food on Facebook is that those people tend to do it all...the...time.  Sometimes it makes me hungry (and then I'm grumpy I don't have that for MY dinner), and other times it makes me lose my appetite (because it looks nasty).  The most common annoyance with it is that it's so pointless and just takes up my newsfeed.  I don't need a play-by-play of what you're eating today.  Can you imagine if everyone did it for every meal/snack?!  Create a blog for pete's sake!  (haha)  

We all know those people who are begging for attention and making empty threats about deleting Facebook.  Occasionally, those people delete it for a little bit and then realize the world doesn't really care.  That's when *poof* they're back on.  

di-a-ry

Noun A book in which one keeps a daily record of events and experiences. A datebook.

Synonyms journal - daybook - notebook

This, my friends, is a diary (defined above). If you're set on something electronic, do not fear, I found you a website that is not Facebook.  http://diary.com/  

To be continued...

Top Annoying Posts on Facebook Part 1

Alright kiddos--Here's a post on some of the things I witness on Facebook that I find utterly obnoxious (and occasionally sad).  I'm sure I was guilty of some of these here and there in the early days of college, but come on!  You should all be Facebook pros!  

So get a diary, tell your significant other you LOVE them to their face, volunteer for a politician's campaign, and confront your "Frenemy" in person.


I'll share some examples (being satirical here):  

How do you like my make-up guys?  

The infamous selfie pic.  It was taken on instagram which means you're not only a model, but also a creative photographer.  (This photo is not on Facebook.  I took it to make a point on this post.  Besides I look like a fool. LOL) 

I have the best boyfriend EVER!
I love you honey boo boo boo.  You are so special and put up with my moodiness even when I'm PMS-ing.

The Public Couple.  Gag gag.  Unfortunately, this is very common on Facebook.  Who doesn't want everyone in on the details of their relationship?  I mean, I think you're SUPER cute and everything, but you make me want to vomit.

The alternative is when these same couple have fights on FB.  That's just embarrassing.  Get a diary / therapist / friend (Facebook ones don't count).  I don't know maybe you've exhausted all of them including your Mom.  The therapists can't help you so you think:

Wait, people will see this on Facebook and ask me what's wrong!  BINGO!  

I'm pregnant!

The Ultrasound. Just because it says it is the "profile" of your fetus doesn't mean you need to make it your "profile pic" on Facebook.  I'm okay with not seeing the inside of your Uterus on my Newsfeed.  Whatever happened to only showing it to close family and friends as proof that you're pregnant?  You can just post that you're pregnant on Facebook.  I'll believe you.  

 

There is a web application that will turn pictures of babies into pictures of things you choose.  Examples: Puppies, Pizza, Sunsets, etc.  I installed it but later felt like a jerk so I uninstalled it.  It does work though...if you're interested.

To Be Continued...

Forming Habits...Breaking Habits...You can DO it!

Discipline is remembering what you want.  
--David Campbell

Good Habits:

• Exercise (get that heart rate up...be careful at the gym if you're clumsy)
• Reading Daily (probably something that makes your brain work a little)
• Eating well (Mix it up a bit.  I learned eating pizza often with different toppings doesn't count)
• Spending time with friends/family/pets
• Showering (No one wants to be around the smelly kid)
• Chores (Then why does it sound so negative)
• Smiling (is my favorite) :-D

Click here for tips on keeping New Year's Resolutions!

A goal without a plan is just a wish.
--Antoine de Saint-Exupery 

Bad Habits:

• Drinking booze in excess
• Smoking cigs/bath salts/crack (you get the idea)
• Gossiping like you're back in middle school
• Watching TV (get off your butt and do something)
• Quoting The Office incessantly (That's what she said)
• Frowning (smile lines are much cuter later anyway)
• Shopping like it's your job (unless you're a personal shopper...then go right ahead)

Click here to learn more about breaking/forming habits!

He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. 

--Lao-tse

Steps to take to change or form a habit:

Step 1. Decide that you really want to change and convince yourself that you can

Step 2. Try to gain insight on what's causing the bad habit

Step 3. Set reasonable goals at first

Step 4. Measure your progress and don't be discouraged by occasional slips

Step 5. Seek additional support if your habits are proving harder to change
psychologytoday.com