This has been a struggle for me my entire life. I have come a very long way through trial and error, but continue to have trouble with this sometimes. When one is trying something new, such as a 16 yr old driving in icy weather, he/she tends to over-correct when faced with a slippery spot. I think that also applies to changing behavior. Since being assertive did not come naturally to me, I "over-corrected" at times which left me coming off as harsh or rude. I was still learning.
I am a lot more confident about asking for what I want and knowing when I deserve it. The situations I tend to still struggle with are saying "no" or speaking up at work and occasionally, handling conflict with acquaintances (not close friends). I actively work on this when I am faced with an uncomfortable situation that I know I need to speak up about. If you don't look out for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?
I like to keep my posts moderately light so I'll end on that note. The link below is for you to look further into becoming more assertive (if that is also something you struggle with).
This video is a pretty accurate representation of submissive and aggressive behaviors. Plus, the accents make it even more entertaining. :-)
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