My friends (and probably me as well) have complained about the guys we meet and/or date here in Cincinnati. Most of the guys we have dated since the college days we have met out in the bar scene. These meetings are typically infused with alcohol, loud music, and obnoxious friends. (Not exactly the best circumstances to get to know someone.) Instead, everything is pretty much based on physical attraction, which you should know is not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've posted some links for those of you who are also interested in meeting people outside of the bar scene. My parents always tell me to go to church more often. (Ugh!) Although, now that I think about it, my friend Natalie and I went to St. Mary's once and there were a few lookers there. Unfortunately, we had to dip out early so there were no conversation opportunities. My parents might be on to something. Who wants to go to church with me this Sunday? Mwahaha.
I have an idea in my head of what I think is sexy, but I decided to google it and see what came up "What is sexy?"
Here's how one website defined sexy:
Image: A person who is sexy would have a high self-image, and others would view them as having so. Face it, someone who doesn't groom, brush their teeth, use underarm deodorant, etc... would not be very sexy to most people.
Confidence: Simply stated, someone who is sexy needs to be confident. They have to believe in what they are doing. Someone with no confidence in himself or herself allows themselves to be easily abused by others, which is not sexy.
Attitude: Someone sexy, in a sense, also has a good outlook on life. They can also take some helpful criticism and get something out of it. No one wants to be around a negative person. sexytester
Just how we don't all like the same "type" we probably define sexy in different ways. I think that site above was vague enough to cover most grounds. I think sexy is confidence without cockiness, looking put together without looking like you're trying too hard, and have an infectious personality and smile.
--As for the clip below...I just think that movie is hilarious. The clip is pretty relevant as well.
Watching The Bachelorette tonight and seeing the guys' crazy antics got me thinking about first dates. I've had some really great dates in my life, a lot of so-so ones, and a few really bad and/or awkward ones. (The clip is a priceless one of Kasey from Ali's season.)
Here's Some Examples of Great Dates I've Been On:
--Cincinnati Museum Center and Dinner, I love museums and that it wasn't a bland idea, although I ended up not really being attracted to this guy, it was a really fun date!
--Play at the Cincinnati Shakespeare Company, Not only was it creative, but I also love theater.
--Wine and Cooking Me Dinner, This is great for a guy who knows how to cook (Although I believe it was a second date--I wouldn't recommend it for a first).
--Coffee and Dessert at a Small Coffee Shop, Although it was a more low-key first date, there was less pressure and it was different.
Most of the bad dates I've been on haven't necessarily been because of the place we went (although they were usually dinner and maybe a movie dates). The dates were terrible because of the person's behavior.
Here's Some Examples of Bad First Date Situations:
--The guy (who I'd only met once before the date) tried to invite himself as the plus one to a wedding I'm in and to an event he knew I was attending. I then tried to make a joke about it as a way out saying "Haha we'll see." He then proceeded to push the topic. (Gag!)
--I went with a guy to dinner and afterwards he used a coupon when he went to pay and then told me I owed him dinner next time. A few minutes later he mentioned he's commitment-phobic. (Run!)
--The guy was literally so shy that I sat in silence for a bit of time before struggling to start up another conversation. He also started sweating profusely. (Uhhh.)
--I went to dinner with a guy (right after I got out of a relationship) who was pretty much just a friend to me (he insisted I go). He showed up with 3 boxes of Godiva chocolates...and then kept trying to force feed me glasses of wine at dinner.
The best dates I've been on have been with people who try to bring out their best characteristics without being phony. There's also some things that should just not ever be brought up on a first date (exes, wanting to get married in a year, being commitment-phobic, hating anything--hate is a strong word for a first date, politics). You will most likely not be asked or agreed to a second date (at least by me). I don't know why some people are in such a hurry. Take your time to get to know someone and let them take their time to get to know you (the real you). It'll all come out eventually. :-P
I don't like to spend a fortune on beauty products because if the drugstore ones work well for me, then why waste the money? Here are a few of my favorite products (You'll find every single one of these in my room):
Author and counselor, Gary Chapman found that people feel loved and express love in different ways. Most of us have 1-2 primary "love languages".
The Five Love Languages include: Quality Time, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts.
I took the assessment and was actually somewhat surprised to have gotten "Quality Time" as my primary Love Language. It does explain a lot about why my most recent relationship failed (ouch). Quality Time
"In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."
My second highest scored one was "Physical Touch" which I was not at all surprised by. I love hugs and signs of affection.
Physical Touch
"This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive."
Gary Chapman explains in the book "The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition", that you can learn what your significant other's love language is and then apply what you learn about the languages to make them feel even more loved. They can in turn, then do the same for you. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is single, dating, or in a relationship.
